Can you remember your first magic?
Being brought up a Roman Catholic incense and rituals were indoctrinated into me from a baby. Good night and dog bless a spell in itself. Holy water and genuflecting on entry to a church. I still struggle not to do it and I still find protestant churches very odd places. I never know what I'm supposed to be doing.
I was really lucky to have had a family priest who was a maverick priest.
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/12498730.priest-dies-in-dawn-blaze-at-his-church-house/Even the news report of Father Lynches death describes him as controversial. He was a priest who drove a Ford Capri even Little Little Delphi appreciated that was special.
My spinster great aunt was his housekeeper and he was very fond of me. I was a ball of energy. He thought me hilarious especially when I wanted to know everything. It was he that explained the original sin was sex. Cut an apple in half womb, serpent trouser snake. Ok, that's my interpretation of what he said.
He taught me poppet magic … pardon Little Delphi a Roman Catholic ordained priest taught you what?
I am sure you all think Little Delphi is taking the Mickey again. Not this time.
Father Lynch used to buy me, sweets, for piling pennies in stacks of 10. While he counted the offertory. Usually dolly mixtures or Jelly babies.
One day I was upset about something so he listened kindly to my infant complaints.
He then instructed me to take a Jelly Baby and make the Jelly Baby into the person I was angry and upset with and bite off their head.
I am not sure if this was my first magic or if the Fae portal in a Pansy was the first. I however have been given a packet of jelly babies and I'm having far too much fun chewing up people.
So what was the first spell you were taught and do you still use it?
I can’t quite say what spell I did first . But I remember vividly my first experience that changed everything for me . Turned my world upside down and left me partially submerged in the magickal abyss of the cosmos . Half drowning half full of curiosity …and a glimpse of purpose for the first time .
I was suffering from severe migraines from my military days . Daily migraines that destroyed me . They say there are seven different types of migraines and when I was full on I had symptoms of all 7. Straight up , it’s scary to physically hurt that much and to that extreme . Needless to say , dark days for the keeper of runes . Before he knew he kept them . I was contemplating forfeiting , seriously contemplating and balancing the weight of that choice .
A friend of mines wife was First Nations . Comanche . And she pulled me to the side and suggested meditation . It took me several weeks to get my head silent and be able to hold an image or thought without having intrusions . Once there I was over the moon excited I accomplished it . She then gave me an upstairs meditation exercise. And once I visualized the stairs going UP they climbed for ages . The one thing she prepped me for that I still use to this day , whatever you meet good or bad , thank them for there time and move out .
Once I got to a door , a large wooden one . Trying to be detailed so that I can remember clearly for a new visit , it’s time . I knocked . The door opened but it was dark inside . I heard a voice tell me to take a nap . That voice was my own . That was disappointing . I thanked me for my time and started down the stairs . When back in physical I opened my eyes and I was exhausted . A tired I have become familiar with . It’s a special type of tired behind the eyes . So heavy you can’t keep them open .
The second I closed my eyes here , I opened them fully elsewhere . I was fully piloting a body . A body that felt like my own but wasn’t . I saw as I see now , I felt things, I smelled things I tasted them in the air . It was the most real experience to date .
I came from the woods. On foot . Into what I want to call a village . Huts . Very primitive . I was greeted at the entrance to town by all the children . They were excited to see me , to touch my hands . They had been anticipating my RETURN. I’ve been here before . I can feel the energy welling inside me as I speak .
The children took me to certain big hut where the sick were . I seemingly on auto pilot began taking things from my pack and applying it to the sick and wounded . Plants , salves , teas etc . Before this experience I had never worked with plants like this during this physical life .
When done a strange kid came into the hut and took me by the hand . He was sickly looking , dire need of something . He lead me solemnly up a cliff , where a circle hut looking structure was . When I entered the tent . It was so hot , so humid I could taste it . I could taste the dirt in the air . There were men sitting in a circle inside this dark tent . And sipping from a bowl . Passing said bowl around . I also sipped from this bowl . And it began .
I found myself in the middle of an ancient think tank . The tribe had a problem . Water or the lack of it. Crops were failing , people were dehydrated , it was an issue . I remember clearly it was me , that had a solution . Irrigation from the main river . It was simple , I’ve seen it a thousand times in this life . But my idea , was well received with joy and excitement . I got up to leave this hut and a LARGE man blocked my path . I remember him , I know him . He had pale blue eyes that were prominent . Almost a glow . Long white beard as white as frost . He was not in the session of the bowl passing and think tanking . But here he was blocking my exit from leaving . He put his hand on my face . Grabbed it like a basketball. I say he was large because his fingers wrapped around the back of my head . This man was a giant no doubt but not mountains tall like the fables and tales .
He threw me from my face . Like a rag doll backwards . Two words spoken as I fell back into my body . “SHAMAN BOY” loud and powerful . When my body hit the floor i literally bounced out of my bed at home , heart racing blood pumping . I had never heard of this title before . It wasn’t in my vocabulary . When I googled shaman , I relived my experience and was put on my path . A week later peyote found me . I had never once dabbled in this department nor ever had the urge to . When peyote found me I was consumed by her , obsessed . Under the influence , I met her . Not peyote herself , but her from within me . From within the silence she came , she guided me to a dark room. She told me not to blink till the rivers flow . When the rivers flow , let go . And let go I did . Those that know my latest mask have seen my tears . It’s a requirement to pass through for myself . The tear streaks to me are most sacred .
I had a belief instilled in me from this experience and one I’ll take beyond the graves . A secret for some reason. We are our ancestors . The timeline is not linear . I was summoned to this place and time . I was called . And we can look at how crazy that is when you currently have not a clue . Life will look like one thing here but be rooted in cause elsewhere . I had to be put in a position to be able to make that journey when I needed to . It took sacrafice , loss , abandonment , pain , betrayal , hurt and darkness to make me ready. This is a sad truth , my darkest of hours and I’ve had several . I felt alone and In a corner . I never knew both of us , her and myself had pre planned all this sadness and grief . And she sat in sadness as I passed through it , I had to pass though it like this . She has often been referred to as she who weeps . I relate to this . The goddess has wept for me. When my connection with her is clear and crisp and connected I know it’s her because I immediately am overcome with a sadness I can’t put into words propperly. It’s a weeping of depth . Like a mother who has to watch her children suffer brutally. Like a wife who has longed for her husband and he finally returns . Like a dog who lays near his partners grave . It’s too deep for me to comprehend . She is passion. She is caring . She is fierce . She is kind . She’s a teacher to those worthy. She is brutal to her enemies . She’s brutal to those she teaches in the fire .